Thesis statement

Megan's Research Question

What is the difference between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes and how can Americans reduce their risk of getting these diseases?

Megan's Preliminary Thesis Statement

Type 1 diabetes is a disease where a person loses their insulin cells. People with Type 2 diabetes aren’t able to use their insulin very well. You can't reduce your risk of Type 1 diabetes but you can reduce your risk of Type 2 diabetes by eating better and exercising.

Megan's Thesis Statement

Type 1 diabetes is a disease in which a person loses all of their insulin-producing cells and thus must depend on insulin injections for survival. Type 2 diabetes is a disease in which a person is no longer able to efficiently use the insulin their body produces. Although Americans are so far unable to reduce their risk of getting Type 1 diabetes, they can reduce their risk of getting Type 2 diabetes by keeping their weight down, eating healthy foods low in sugar, and getting daily exercise.

 

Megan's Revised Thesis Statement

Type 1 diabetes is a disease in which a person loses all of their insulin-producing cells and thus must depend on insulin injections for survival. Type 2 diabetes is a disease in which a person is no longer able to efficiently use the insulin their body produces. Americans are so far unable to reduce their risk of getting Type 1 diabetes. However, every American should attempt to reduce their risk of getting Type 2 diabetes by keeping their weight down, eating healthy foods low in sugar, and getting daily exercise.

 

Megan's Revised Thesis Statement

Type 1 diabetes is a disease in which a person, usually under the age of 35, loses all of their insulin-producing cells and thus must depend on insulin injections for survival. Type 2 diabetes usually affects older Americans and is a disease in which a person is no longer able to efficiently use the insulin their body produces. Although Americans are so far unable to reduce their risk of getting Type 1 diabetes, they can reduce their risk of getting Type 2 diabetes by keeping their weight down, eating healthy foods low in sugar, and getting daily exercise.

 

Megan's Shorter, But Still Broad, Thesis Statement

Americans should reduce their risks of getting Type 2 diabetes.

Megan's Focused Thesis Statement

Americans should reduce their risks of getting Type 2 diabetes by keeping their weight down, eating healthy foods low in sugar, and getting daily exercise.

An effective thesis statement can invite your readers to learn something new, suggest that they change their attitudes or beliefs, or argue that they should take action of some kind.

Position statement: Preserving privacy on social networking websites is an individual responsibility.

Thesis statement: Asking readers to learn something new

Social networking web sites don’t reveal personal information; people reveal personal information

Thesis statement: asking readers to change their attitudes or beliefs

We should view the use of social networking sites in educational settings with a great deal of caution.

Thesis statement: asking readers to take action

People who use social networking web sites should learn how to safeguard sensitive, personal information.